Roller Coasters are supposed to be enjoyable experiences that take riders through exhilarating elements which give rider unobtainable sensations elsewhere, but what if those sensations are undesirable and even painful, nobody likes getting their head bashed against hard restraints or shaken until it feels like their spine is going to snap. Unfortunately, rides like these do exist right here at California’s greatest amusement parks.
Jaguar-Knott’s Berry Farm
Jaguar isn’t a very painful ride as there are no over-the shoulder restraints to bash your head on and the track is very smooth so there are no uncomfortable vibrations. Besides the fact that you are slightly cramped if you have somebody sitting next to you, the ride is rather comfortable, however, that doesn’t make it a good ride in the slightest. This ride has absolutely no point in existing, it is one of the most boring roller coasters in the world, there is absolutely no fun to be had while on this ride, except for maybe seeing how many trees and bushes you can touch while on the ride. This roller coaster does nothing fun, it just goes in random directions while providing no physical sensation at all. In addition to this, it had a 48 inch height requirement meaning kids that would actually enjoy this ride can’t even ride it. Maybe if this ride was targeted at children, I could forgive it as there are children that could enjoy the ride, but since that demographic is taken, this roller coaster is one of the worst in California.
Matterhorn Bobsleds-Disneyland
This is probably my most controversial pick as the Matterhorn Bobsleds is one of the most famous roller coasters of all time. With its great caves, mountain, and snow monster animatronic, how could I not love this roller coaster you may ask. This roller coaster is one of the most painful roller coasters that I have ridden. The ride was designed in 1959 by Arrow Dynamics, a company known for making painful rides, and was the first roller coaster made with tubular steel track in the world. This meant that not only was it designed by one of the most infamous roller coaster manufacturers, but it was also a new and unpolished concept. The result of these two things was a painful, jerky roller coaster that doesn’t know what to do with itself. There are points on this rides with random and very painful small drops followed by rapid and poorly designed transitions that throw you around all over the place. Besides the great theme, the only redeeming quality of this ride is that fact that it had two different tracks that you can ride on. From my experience, the track closer to Fantasyland is far less painful than the one closer to Tomorrowland, so, if you are going to ride this, choose the track closer to Fantasyland, you have been warned!
Kong-Six Flags Discovery Kingdom
Kong at Six Flags Discovery Kingdom is the worst roller coaster I have ever ridden, there is just so much wrong with it that I don’t even know where to begin. Kong was designed by Vekoma (which funnily enough is a company that branched off from the previously mentioned Arrow Dynamics) which is also known for making terribly painful roller coasters. Kong is the Suspended Looping Coaster model designed by Vekoma and also has exact clones all around the world which means that you can get the horrible experience of Kong wherever you go. First of all, this ride has over the shoulder restraints which are a type of restraint on a ride that comes over your shoulder. These restraints are fine as long as the coaster isn’t rough which causes you to bang your head. Unfortunately, Kong is one of the roughest roller coasters in the world, which means that the entire ride you are smashing your head against those hard restraints like there is no tomorrow. In addition to that, that track is shaking you up so badly that you spine is hurting terribly. Normally, inversions (the upside down things) on roller coasters are fun and exciting, but on this ride they only exacerbate the terrible situation you already waited 45 minutes for. Don’t ride this roller coaster, it is absolutely terrible, you will get off this ride with red ears from hitting them against the restraints, 3 fractured vertebrae, and probably a death wish. AVOID KONG AT ALL COSTS!
Rollercoasters N' Stuff 